And 15 clever things you can say right back! Yeah, that’ll teach them!

1. After a butchers haircut- “Don’t worry, it’ll grow back”.

“Yeah, but that foot’s gonna stay in your mouth forever.”

2. After breaking up with your dream guy- “There are plenty more fish in the sea”.

“Uh, I don’t get it? What does seafood have to do with it?

3. When your life’s falling apart- “Hey, it could be worse”.

“Oh riiiight-he could’ve dumped me for my best friend! Yeah, you know, I feel a helluva lot better now! Thanks soo much for your help!”

4. You missed curfew, again!- “My house, my rules”.

“Sure but last time I checked this was my life!” Note: To avoid getting grounded, “Sorry” has also been known to work wonders.

5. Your jeans won’t quite fit- “Don’t worry, it’s probably just baby fat”.

“Is it? Wish I could say the same for you.” Cruel, yes, but hey, they kinda asked for it.

6 When your parents act like you’re four- “We’ll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one”.

“But adults (substitue crime here, ex: go clubbing) so technically I am acting like a grown-up!”

7. When you just want to pig out- “Chocolates give you zits”.

“Listen, if you want a piece of my Hershey’s bar, you just have to ask.”

8. When he dumps you- “We can still be friends”.

“Um, can we not?”.

9. He asks a ‘cuter’ girl to the dance- “Looks aren’t everything”.

“Right, and lucky for you, personality isn’t either!”

10 When you didn’t make the cheerleading squad- “You’ll get over it”.

“Yes, I will. And yes, I’m being a tad overdramatic right now. But a little compassion would be appreciated. Thanks!”

11. When they just don’t have anything else to say- “Talk to the hand”.

Talk to the hand is so annoying you don’t even have to respond. Look disgusted and turn away because your face don’t wanna understand.

12. When forced to wear a dorky outfit your mom got you- “It doesn’t look THAT bad”.

“Really? Now tell me, how bad does it look? As bad as yours bad or…? Seeing as you’re, uh, the expert and all…”

13. When they pretend they’re not insulting you- “No offense but…”

This obvious attempt to give offense must be intercepted. In fact, it deserves “Talk to the hand!”

14. When you’re the only one not allowed to go to the party- “I don’t care what your friends do; I only care about you”.

Give your parents the whole “What you don’t trust me?” crap, they’re such suckers for it. If that doesn’t work, beg!

15. When wearing a figure-flattering outfit- “Wow, did you lost weight?”

Ouch! This is the worst! An underlying insult hidden within a compliment. But how would they feel if you said, “Wow, did you gain weight?” Why not find out?

Credits- Twist Magazine, I typed it up and changed it a little though.