1. You only invite people over when you need something.

2. Your idea of a great birthday is receiving great presents.

3. You love the words, “I need a favour”.

4. You car pool.. as long as it’s someone else’s car.

5. The road to success is through networking and contacts.

6. Friendships have a shelf life. (The only reason Users make friends is because they are useful. If they cease to be handy, then they cease to be friends.)

7. Your siblings snub you. (Being left out of family get-togethers and stuff)

8. A friend in need is a pain.

9. Friends and family receive goodies according to rank.

10. Your partner puts up with you because he or she loves you.

– If there are any doubts whether you are a User, see if you can recall saying any of these things to your partner (Or something close to them)

• “Darling, I want you to know that I’ll understand it if you find someone else and choose to be with her instead. I’d set you free because I love you- just ensure you take care of my house and car, that’s all I ask.

• “Darling, I want you to wear this suit when we got out tonight. Tan Sri will be there and you’ve to make an impression so he’ll remember me if an opening comes up at his firm.”
• “Darling, can you persuade your sister (an orthodontist) to do my teeth for me at a discounted rate .. and for some of my friends .. and for Grandma too?”
• “Darling, your father is going on holiday next month. How about you take over his Beamer so I can drive it around unitl he returns?”
• “Darling, I must introduce you to my friend’s brother so you can hire him. Imagine the favours I’ll be able to squeeze out of her after that!”

The User Checklist
Take the quiz and see how much of a User you are! xP Answer the questions below, and give yourself 1 point for every yes, and no points for no.

1. You rank your buddies from 1 to 10.

2. You don’t own any pets because you don’t feel you get anything in return.

3. No friendship of yours has lasted more than 2 years.

4. You avoid friends who are going through a rough patch in their lives.

5. You don’t mind inviting your friend over as long as she brings her maid along so she can clean your home for you.

6. You are never invited to family outings.

7. You don’t mind going to the supermarket or mall with friends as long as you get to swipe your loyalty discount cards on their bills.

8. Your best birthday memories are the ones when you received the best gifts.

9. You keep a computer record of what all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances, siblings, and neighbors (and all their spouses) do for a living.

10. You only buy lunch when you’ve got a favour to ask.

Scoooore!

7-10 points You are definately a User, and are probably called some pretty unpleasant things behing your back. Have you no heart at all?!

4-6 points You have a conscience, but your selfishness is starting to get the better of you. Watch out!

1-3 points You’re NOT a User, but like the rest of us, have occasional spells of self-centredness. Kepp them in check, and you will be well-loved.

From the magazine Cleo, Malaysia edition.